Why I Shy Away from Friendships and Art and Don’t Mind Drinking Alone · J.J. Goss

I bought moleskine notebooks
and we drank like hemingway she told me
she tried drinking alone once
bought a chocolate martini
and made excuses to the bartender
drinking alone doesn’t count at the mall
I told her and other things
like eating carrots gives you night vision warned her
not to sit directly on bleachers in December I lied to her
because the questions came too soon it’s safer
to leave the store bought voice on the
answering machine no one is available
and I’m sorry at no extra charge

don’t know how to swim but I packed my suit
I’m not afraid of the water only the stories
there’s a snapping turtle somewhere deep
but I’ll take my chances won’t hear your warnings
underwater and I’ll just wait for you
to show up with the life

preserver and the white bathing suit with miss america
printed across the chest see-through when wet
your last sleepover people had such small whispers
told me my hair was good but my ears were dirty
we dress like witches send the tent girls running to the kitchen
they’re waiting for me to fall asleep before
they’ll execute their plans

a clipboard carried up the brown grassy hill
they’re standing in formation I’m hoping
to melt their defenses it’s true what they say
my pictures all have red haired girls in them
they’re always smiling but there’s
blondes and brunettes in there too I’m sure of it
frowning figures and straight lined mouths of those
with no emotions
your last supper people had big feet
and you won the award I’m looking at my shoes
we’re leaving soon I overheard the conversation
and I’ll miss you just because I love the missing
hi lilly, hi lilly, hi lo